What a fun question! Insta-love is getting a little old for me, too. Especially when the characters are willing to give up so much/change their whole lives after a few days. I like it when it takes most of the book or the series for characters to get together. Or at least several conversations….
(I’m not the best real-life example, though. I met my husband in Jan. of 2006 & we got married in December of that year)

I’ve always been frustrated with this! Personally, it took a few months for me to fall in love (after dating, not just being interested). I think some stories just need romance more than “falling in love”. I mean, not every story needs to be love–it can be more like “I really like this person and I might fall in love with them someday” situation that they end on.

Thank you for the links to books with build-up! I’ve been looking for some.

I’m not one to say anything, either. I knew after my second date with Mark that I’d marry him. Funny how that works out.

But for gradual relationships, what about Ron and Hermione? That definitely took a while …

I prefer love that builds over time (Poison Study) etc. I have a hard time finding instant love believable.

I totally agree. I’m so done with insta-love. For me and DBF, I also knew within the first month of our relationship that we were meant to be together. But like you, we didn’t immediately jump. We worked on becoming friends first and the romance naturally followed. I like that progression a lot more than the immediate jump into ‘I will die for you right now’ that we see so often.

Agreed on your books with awesome progression. I also think the Glass series (also by Maria V. Snyder) is great, as well as the Hannah Swensen books by Joanne Fluke.

Other than this being one of the MANY reasons why Poison Study kicks most other books butts…
Insta-Love is all good and well and lovely, but there’s a REASON everyone else in the book complains and vomits when confronted by the insta-love couple. Its annoying.
I think one of the most exciting parts of a relationship are when you’re trying to figure out your feelings. Like many people, I’ve known my partner was “it” for a long time, but those months when we were first getting to know each other and falling in love were some of the best months of my life. I feel sorry for anyone who misses out on that good stuff

I agree, insta-love is not very realistic, thus breaking the illusion you have while reading the book. But, in real life, everyone falls in love at different times, so it’s hard to say just how long it ought to be in fiction. Certainly, love-at-first-sight does happen, but is rare.

Insta-love is kinda annoying! Insta-attraction I get, but love? Not so much. I like a slow build.

I can’t stand InstaLove and unfortunately it seems to dominate a lot of YA. I think it’s normal to get crushes on others in a short period of time — instantly, even — but falling in eternal love??

I’m also getting a little tired of insta-love. Although I’ll be interested to see how the insta-love will work out in The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight. But usually, depending on the timeline of the book, I’d rather have it happen after a few weeks maybe, months preferably.

Hey Lisa! Unfortunately, I’m now reading yet another book with insta-love and it’s really bugging me. My own love in real life could be considered fast (my husband proposed 11 months after we met and we were married five months later) so I do believe that intense, lasting love can be developed in a relatively short period of time. It’s just that in some of these books, it seems like lust and infatuation is being confused with love. Poison Study is definately a book with great romantic build up. Valek is awesome…..
NC
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[...] The breathtaking romance. Say goodbye to instalove, my friends, and welcome the slow-and-steady romance instead. It’s scintillating and exciting [...]

[...] my description above, you could very well think the following: This book probably involves insta-love and/or is all about romance. If you did think those things, you’re wrong. (I mean that in the [...]